I’m Nominated for a Liebster Award

liebster

I’m Not Grandpa was nominated for a Liebster Award by Jeremy Atkins of Go Ask Your Daddy. Thank you Jeremy!  Please take a few minutes and check out Go Ask Your Daddy.

Accepting this award is a great honor, passing it along to other bloggers is an even bigger one.  The Liebster Award is passed to newer bloggers from more experienced ones as a way of acknowledging the work put into producing and maintaining an exciting blog.

I’m Not Grandpa is written from the perspective of a 50-Something First-Time Dad.   The tales of this Stay at Home Dad are written with a mix of sarcasm and sentiment.

I started I’m Not Grandpa as a way of documenting the excitement fatherhood and have been surprised at how it’s been received.  Along the way I’ve enjoyed reading the work of many Mommy and Daddy bloggers as well as many well-written blogs covering a vast array of topics.  Facebook and Twitter allowed me to meet some amazing writers through various blogging groups and even more amazing people as we perfect our craft.

Here’s what Jeremy said about I’m Not Grandpa in his nomination:

 You definitely don’t see many first time dads at the age of 50, but Frank’s blog chronicles just that.  This is one blog that I will definitely follow and look for new posts about his adventures.  I became a first time dad 10 years ago.  I can’t imaging becoming a dad in my 50s.  An enjoyable blog!

Liebster Award Winner Rules:

1 – Thank the person/blog who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog.

2 – Display the award on your blog. This can be done by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a widget (note: the best way to do this is to save the image to your own

3 – Answer the 10 questions about yourself that your nominating blogger chooses for you (see my questions above).

4 – Nominate 10 blogs that you feel deserve the award. These must be new bloggers (less than two years blogging) who have fewer than 1000 followers.

5 – Create a list of questions for your nominated bloggers to answer.

6 – List these rules in your post (feel free to cut & paste!)

7 – Inform the blogs that you nominated that they have been awarded the award and provide a link for them to your post so that they can learn about it.

The rules of accepting the Liebster Award ask me to answer a few questions and post them to my blog.  Here they are!

1 – What inspired you to start your blog?

I’ve been blogging for about five years, mainly about running, my running blog is North Queens Runner.  During my wife’s pregnancy I read a few parenting books, although they were helpful, they were written mainly for by women for women.  As a sarcastic person, my mind went to the races and I thought this would make a great blog.

2 – What blogging goal are you currently striving for? 

Trying to post quality work on a consistent schedule, it’s not as easy as it sounds, while balancing work and caring for a 16-month old son.

3 – What activities do you enjoy outside of blogging?

I enjoy running I’ve run 12 marathons and two ultramarathons and am an avid cyclist.  I love movies, all periods and genres.  I’m a big New York Mets and Dallas Cowboys fan.  I enjoy spending quality time with my wife, which is harder to do since the baby was born.

4 – What tactics do you employ on those days when blogging is hard & frustrating? 

A writing teacher taught me, there are two parts to a writer, the Generator and the Editor.  The Generator takes the raw material from your head and gets it onto paper, a computer screen or whatever medium one uses for the process.  The Editor takes this raw material and crafts it into a finished piece.  On those days when I’m blocked I just write, not attempt to make every sentence perfect, just generate raw material, it can usually be cleaned up in future drafts.

5 – If you could have lunch with any famous person, who would you choose?  Willie Mays, probably the best centerfielder ever.

6 – What are your three favorite blogs to follow?

Pavement Runner, Dad and Buried, and Life as a Rambling Redhead.

7 – What piece of blogging advice have you found to be most helpful?

Write for yourself.  Don’t write with an eye towards monetizing your blog towards a mass market, focus instead on writing quality work.  If you consistently do this the rest will take care of itself.

8 – Are you a full-time blogger or do you also hold down a day job? 

I work from home as a consultant, it lets take care of the baby as I work.

9 – What is your favorite post on your blog thus far?

My favorite post is What’s in a Name.  It’s one of my first posts where I write about my wife and I picking our son’s name.  I got the sarcasm just right in that one.

10 – What social media platforms do you use and which one is most effective for you?

I’m on several, Facebook. Twitter, Instagram and I just created a Pintrist profile.  Facebook and Twitter allow me to promote new posts on my blog, they have allowed me to network with other bloggers and learn from them.

Here are my nominees for the Liebster Award.  You may accept if you like, it’s completely up to you

Syreeta @ Pecan Momma Tales  Syreeta is a wife and mother in a blended family.  Her blog is a support system for mothers and parents taken from her own experiences, offering encouragement, parenting, marriage and relationship advice.  Her posts are inspiring.

Suzanne @ maQ + Suz BlogA lifestyle blog by Suzanne Spiegoski, a freelance portrait and lifestyle photographer, as well as writer and published author.  Her posts are a mix of photography, fashion, food and recipes, health and fitness in addition to her day to day adventures.  Her posts combine text and images with such synergy, everything from NYC Street Art to the recent blizzard.  Great stuff!

Tanya and Nara @ Motherly AdventuresWritten by a pair of thirty-something friends who met a decade ago while backpacking through Europe.  Flash forward to present day where they are wives and mothers blogging about topics such as pregnancy, making life easier for new mothers and juggling family and career.  A good read.

Kirstie @ TEFL Teaching AbroadKirstie is a qualified TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) Teacher from Leiscester England currently living and teaching in Chiang Mai Thailand.  She writes about her experiences living in a new land and traveling through and exploring neighboring countries.

Michelle @ Hello Peachy Skin – Looking young and healthy has never been more confusing.  The cosmetic companies tell you their anti-aging creams have magical powers.  Doctors say Botox is the answer and every other week a new diet goes mainstream offering the answer.  Who do you believe?  Michelle investigates; her posts are based on what scientists have proven to be true.  Are they?  Follow her blog to find out.

Jeff @ Daddy is Best – Jeff is a blogger, writer, aspiring speaker, humorist, husband and father of two children.  I was drawn to this site because like me Jeff became a Dad is in 50s.   His posts are insightful real-life depictions of day-to-day life—he doesn’t sugarcoat things—he tells things like they are.  His posts keep me coming back for more.

Susan @ Skirt in the Kitchen  This lifestyle blog merges many things, food and music, and modern and vintage.  Susan makes it all work the way an excellent cook combines ingredients in just the right proportions creating an unforgettable meal.  Reading this blog makes me feel like I’m having a slice of homemade pie with a good cup of coffee at her vintage kitchen table.

Aly @ Small HopperThe parents of a blended family, Aly Stuckart and her husband are a combo of West Coast ease and Southern flair and hospitality all rolled into this crazy package.  This blog finds the humor in day-to-day life  There’s also a gallery where one is able to see family pictures.

Sam @ Raising my mini meSam blogs about life as a new mom. starting with the pregnancy. She gives pulls no punches as she writes about motherhood, gives product reviews and recently adding receipes.  All this from someone who doesn’t have a clue.

Now, for all of the 9 awardees above, it’s your turn to answer the questions below and post your answers!

1.) What inspired you to start your blog?

2.) What blogging goal are you currently striving for?

3.) What activities to you enjoy outside of blogging?

4.) What tactics do you employ on those days when blogging is hard & frustrating?

5.) If you could have lunch with any famous person, who would you choose?

6.) What are your three favorite blogs to follow?

7.) What piece of blogging advice have you found to be most helpful?

8.) Are you a full-time blogger or do you also hold down a day job?

9.) What is your favorite post on your blog thus far?

10.) What social media platforms do you use and which one is most effective for you?

 

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The Social Media Baby

Social Media Baby

Another time-honored part of parenting is showing the latest pictures of their son or daughter to friends, family and anyone else who look at them.  Bringing stacks of pictures to summer cookouts, Thanksgiving dinner and cornering coworkers in the company break room is part of the tradition.

It’s been this way throughout history—you can trace it back to the caveman.  The paintings on the Lascaux Cave walls were primitive baby pictures.  Visiting guests endured an hour or so of the latest images of Junior before settling down to a meal of sautéed wolf paired with a nice Sauvignon Blanc.  White wine served with red meat—now that was primitive.

My parents were guilty too. Christmas Eve 1969. I'm the little guy on the right.
My parents were guilty too. Christmas Eve 1969. I’m the little guy on the right.

Pilgrims arriving at Plymouth Rock, brandished selfies and baby pictures taken aboard the Mayflower, sharing them with members of the local tribes during the first Thanksgiving Dinner and a tradition was started.

Technology improved over the years, film was replaced by digital cameras and Al Gore invented the internet.  Then came the iPhone, turning everyone a photographer.  Before you can say selfie stick a new phenomenon was born—social media.

It started with MySpace, the social media equivalent of the cave painting.   Before long it was replaced by Facebook and Twitter.  Soon distant relatives and complete strangers were posting, tweeting and pinning the most intimate details of their lives with reckless abandon for all to see.

Talk about building a better mousetrap, Facebook and Instagram gives users a virtual means of cornering family, friends and virtual friends, with the latest family pictures that are draining the storage from their iPhones.  It’s found a home for all those blurry, underexposed iPhone images of today’s lunch, the latest pictures of their dogs or cats, and their children’s everything.

I always said I’d never be one of those parents whipping out and showing off baby pictures to anyone within site, whether they wanted to see them or not, before I became a parent.  According to (multiple) family members that ship sailed long ago.  So far there’s been no intervention, yet    

Cristian is a Social Media Baby—he was born in the Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/You Tube era.  His birth announcement was posted on Facebook and Twitter.  Since we have family and friends (real and virtual) all across the Americas and Europe, it was the best way to get the word out.  He’s had iPhones or digital cameras in his face literally since birth.   

Used for Cristian's Baby Announcement
The Image used for Cristian’s Baby Announcement

I’m a Stay at Home Dad who blogs—sites like Facebook and Twitter is essential for promoting I’m Not Grandpa.  Blog posts and social media posts are made with an eye towards not embarrassing the baby.  Cheesy pictures of him could have repercussions, he’ll probably be taking care of me in my golden years and payback is a bitch.

Many fellow bloggers are careful regarding their children.   Pseudonyms replace their children’s names and some are careful regarding how much they share because you never know.

The flip side of the argument is this. Facebook has allowed me to keep distant relatives in Spain and not so distant ones on Long Island posted on all things Cristian.  Esther and I are amazed at how many follow our posts.  In November she took the baby to Puerto Rico, giving family members a chance to meet our newest addition.  She was surprised how many told her they checked their feeds daily looking for new pictures and updates.          

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The Revolving Door

Cristian with his Titi (Aunt) Neiqui
Cristian with his Titi (Aunt) Neiqui

Shortly after Cristian came home we were ready for the next part of the new-parent ritual—people stopping by to see the baby. This time-honored tradition once featured on a Seinfeld episode is required of all new parents.  Of all the experiences from finding out Esther was pregnant through present day, I dreaded this one most—more than hormones or changing my first drippy diaper.

Throughout Esther’s pregnancy, images of guests showing up in large groups taking turns riding my couch while taking selfies using my son as a prop before posting a Facebook update haunted me.  “Who’s next?”  Maybe my protective instinct kicked in a wee bit early. Who me?

After spending a week or so as tag-team parents, hosting guests provided a welcome change of pace.  Here are the highlights.

With niece Katie with her Baby cousin
With niece Katie with her Baby cousin

The Revolving Door-Visits started small—first it was grandparents stopping by to see the baby. Then a few college friends showed up after work.  Soon friends and relatives called for visits like they were making dinner reservations at a fine restaurant. “We have on opening on Thursday at 7:30.  How many will that be?”  Our lobby was like revolving door, I’d be walking two guests out as another group was arriving.  “Don’t forget to stop at the gift shop on the way out.”

Don’t Be Shy When People Ask What Can I Bring-Lamaze class taught me many things, breathing, pain management and that I reminded the instructor of her husband. Apparently he’s sarcastic too.  Finding that out cost me a look from Esther.  What I remember most was not being afraid to ask friends to bring dinner.  We ate well, home-cooked meals, Chinese, Filipino and Japanese food and lots of empanadas. Just a head’s up if you’re bringing Chinese food, I like the spicy mustard.

The Baby Whisperer-Every family has at least one.  The aunt or family friend found at family gatherings with a baby in her lap. Whether the baby is her grandchild or the neighbor’s child is irrelevant, the experience imparted from these Baby Yodas is priceless. “A diaper change he shall need.”  Need someone to give you a breather or keep your baby awake for extra hour call the Baby Whisperer.

Does this dress look like Esther or me?
Does this dress look like Esther or me?

He Looks Like-From his first sonogram our loved ones started playing the Who Does He Look Like Game, five months later, the game’s still on.  I’ve heard he looks like Esther with Frank’s skin color or his hair is the color Frank’s used to be to the distant aunt who sees my dad or her cousin etc. It’s kind of like “What Color is this Dress.”  To date my favorite has been the friend with no relation to either of us insisting he looks like her when he smiles.

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It’s Showtime – Part 2

machines 2In the hospital we watched Jimmy Fallon as Esther lay in bed hooked to machines and an IV Drip I knew we were in for a long night.  Sitting in a cushy recliner next to her bed listening to my son’s heartbeat all we can do is wait.  After 41 weeks, Baby Priegue is ready to arrive, but like his parents he’s being stubborn.

Leaving the doctor’s office, we stopped for Esther’s “Last Meal.”  We went home to walk and feed Chico, and called friends and family letting them, it was go time.

Let me hit the highlights so this post isn’t too long, of course I still can’t promise it won’t be really long.

SInce you're up could you go to Dunkin Donuts and get me a cup of coffee?
SInce you’re up could you go to Dunkin Donuts and get me a cup of coffee?

Facebook Posts Instead of Phone Calls-Knowing this was going deep into the night or into the next morning we kept friends and family updated via an ongoing Facebook posts.  Apparently we weren’t the only ones who had a sleepless night.  Several friends woke up hourly checking for updates.

No All-Night Maternal Slumber Party-Anticipating what awaited us; I pushed the recliner back at around 3am to get a few hours’ sleep.  It didn’t sit well with my better half.  Esther expected the type of all-night maternal slumber party she had when her sister gave birth to her son.

Let me give you a little family history.  My sister-in-law Rose Marie, or Neiqui, her family nickname, was in labor for over 20 hours.  It’s become something of an urban legend (tell me about the doctor using the Jaws of Life again) and Esther was with her kid sister every step of the way.   

Esther and I before she went into the O.R.
Esther and I before she went into the O.R.

“When Neiqui had Justin, I stayed awake the entire night,” She mentioned with a very disappointed look.  “I’m happy for you,” was my tired reply, “but the doctor said he won’t be here until 8 am, we have a long day ahead of us.”  I went to sleep wondering if I’d wake up to an irate wife smothering me with a pillow.

A Moment of Calm-Upon waking up the nurses told me Induction wasn’t working—we were probably having a C-Section.  Hungry and a little anxious, I stepped out for a quick breakfast sandwich and coffee (yeah coffee will help those nerves Frank).

Looking at the newborns when I returned to maternity wing gave me a sense of calm.  Tuning around, I saw Steven, Esther’s doctor watching me.  I don’t remember what he said but it removed any remaining anxiety.  I guess his services extend to expectant fathers too.

In our room Esther napped as induction continued.  Listening to the baby’s heartbeat, I knew we were in for a long day.

We’re having a C-Section-Around 10am Stephen and the anesthesiologist confirmed the C-Section.  Let’s do this I thought.  Since a Caesarean section is surgical procedure, the nurses brought me a package of surgical gear, hat, mask, white coveralls that looked like a hazmat suit and a pair of little booties to cover my shoes.

I was gearing up when they came for Esther.  Rushing after her I forgot to put my feet through cutouts of my “hazmat suit.”  Straightening up the suit started tearing like clothes off the Incredible Hulk.  It was the icebreaker we needed.   Mentioning it still brings a smile to Esther’s face.

Selfie in my Hazmat Suit
Selfie in my Hazmat Suit

It’s Go Time-Outside the O.R. I watched Esther being prepped as I paced.  Turning around I saw Stephen, who must have been thinking, not again.  He told me, “You will be sitting behind a screen with Esther, when I call your name, stand up and starting taking pictures.”

Holding Esther’s hand, we waited and listened.  Hearing a gurgling sound Stephen called me. I stood up and saw my son for the first time, I was awestruck.  Stephen called again. “Frank, start taking pictures!”  Turning to Esther I said, The C-Section was right decision, he’s huge.

Snapping pictures I felt guilty, Esther carried him to term and could hear him crying, but still couldn’t see him.  Taking a few pictures, I went over so she could see her son.  When they cleaned him up, they put him under a heat lamp.

After cutting the umbilical cord, yes I cut the cord, they weighed the baby. The scale said 147.  147?  It was 147 ounces, which is 9 pounds 3 ounces.  That’s a big boy!  Stepping out I called my mom to let her know she was a grandma again, then made the obligatory calls, while watching my son through the O.R. Window.  With that done, I fired off a Facebook post with a picture saying, “We have a boy!”

Esther holding Cristian for the first time.
Esther holding Cristian for the first time.

Returning to Esther’s side she mentioned, we still have to name him.  You pick.  We narrowed the list to two names Cristian and Daniel.  I wanted Daniel.

Growing up, was my best friend was Danny.  He was the popular kid, who was good at sports and picked the kids no one wanted when we chose sides. He protected a lot of us from bullies.  As an adult, he coached baseball and soccer taking the kids the other coaches passed on.  The kids loved playing for Danny.  Sadly he was killed driving to work when a drunk driver crashed into the car he was riding in.

Esther knew this story and I knew she preferred the name Cristian.  Thinking of everything we went through to get here, how and she had the hard part through all of it, I looked at our son in his mother’s arms, he looked like a Cristian.

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