The Good Men Project Archives

The Road Back to Badass

January 22, 2017January 22, 2017I'm Not Grandpa

A few posts back I wrote about exorcising 2016’s demons and weight gain. I actually started gaining weight in 2014 during Esther’s pregnancy. I always thought stories of expectant Dads gaining weight during their wives pregnancy was bogus, like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster—until it happened to me.

Over the past two years I waited for some kind of event or trigger to snap me into weight-loss mode. Oddly enough waddling around after a hyperactive toddler and a closet full of tight-fitting fat clothes didn’t do it for me. Three weeks ago, a bathroom scale saying 242.2 provided the much-needed wake-up call.

Make a Plan and Own It – I’ve done many diets and weight-loss plans over the years, including Atkins, South Beach, and Weight Watchers, with mixed success. I never, ever, not even once, wrote my goals down on paper or any form of electronic device before starting any of them. Not until now.

The Good Men Project called me a badass because I’m over 50, run marathons, and am a first-time dad. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt like a badass so getting back there that tops my list. Losing 50 pounds is a close second. I also want to run another marathon, and cross the Empire State Building Run-Up off my bucket list.

I interviewed for my current job as at an art college in September. For the interview I was unable to button the jacket on any of the suits — I have four of them. My department is responsible for the school’s graduation ceremony in May. I thought about buying a new suit but not any more. My new goal is fitting into one of the suits currently sitting in my closet.

Find a Partner in Crime – The minute I stepped off the scale, I knew who this was — she stepped off the scale about a minute before I stepped on. Big goals seem daunting without having a partner with similar goals. It makes things easier for both of you.

Misery Loves Company – No I’m not talking about my marriage. Three weeks ago Esther and I joined Weight Watchers — it’s an excellent program that’s worked for us. Spending the first ten days or so detoxing, as our eating habits changed from pizza and fast food, to healthier foods brought some crankiness to our home. Why do they insist on running commercials for cooking shows and burger joints the night before the weekly weigh in?

Set Short-term Goals – Finishing 12 marathons and two ultramarathons, taught, me to break a big goal into a series of smaller ones. I break a marathon into three pieces, 13 miles, 18 miles, and the finish line. Since my stating weight was 242 pounds, I wanted to get under 240 as quickly as possible. After that I’m focusing on getting to the next five-pound increment.

Set Long-term Goals – After Thanksgiving I noticed many of my clothes fit way too tight but I refused to buy new ones. Maybe it’s because I’m cheap, stubborn, or knew changes were coming after the New Year but buying bigger clothes seemed like surrendering. My first goal is fitting into smaller clothes. I’d also like to start running five-mile training runs, pushing Cristian in his jog stroller as I go, and racing again. I have a ways to go before I get there. For now it’s one day at a time, one step at a time, one meal at a time.

Esther and I after I finshed the Long Island Marathon. Running another another marathon is one of my goals.

My Favorite Posts from I’m Not Grandpa’s First Year*

March 4, 2016March 4, 2016I'm Not Grandpa

Wow I can’t believe it’s been a year since I launched I’m Not Grandpa—well sort of. My first post, the Introduction, went live September 26^th 2014 followed by a second post about a week later. Unsure of the tone and voice and being deep into a high-risk pregnancy I put blogging on hold until after the baby was born because my mind was elsewhere.

Cataloging experiences between naps and diaper changes I started writing at the end of February. Memories of Esther’s pregnancy, our first days as parents, and unsolicited advice from all directions poured from me like poop out of a diaper.

With three posts in the can and halfway through a fourth I published my second first post (the first two were warmups) and asked friends to check out I’m Not Grandpa when the fourth post went live. Imagine my surprise when parents said they could relate to it.

Fatherhood and blogging are new experiences, I’ve enjoyed both, but I’m still learning. I made a list of my favorite posts. Click on the links below to check them out.

Esther’s Pregnancy—Nine Months in a Few Paragraphs — This is the most popular and shared post. Published by The Good Men Project, I wrote about my surviving the wife’s pregnancy. Written strictly from the male point of view, more than a few friends told me how relatable it was.

My response to anyone suggesting we name our child Brooklyn

What’s in a Name? — You found out your having a baby? Congratulations! What a tremendous feeling, until you realize you have to agree on a name. It’s not as easy as you think. Men and women have different concepts of what makes a good name. This is my favorite post. If you are debating baby names this post is a must read.

Dad playing with Cristian on his last birthday.

For Dad — I wrote this the day before my Dad’s 89^th birthday as a birthday gift (he hated receiving Christmas, Father’s Day and Birthday Gifts). Written from the perspective of a newly-minted Dad, he made it look easy. At the time none of us knew he was suffering from pancreatic cancer. He passed away three months later. This post was the frame work for his eulogy.

One and Done — I was 50-years old when Cristian was born meaning he’s probably going to be an only child. I wrote about my concerns. The response I received from single-children parents was overwhelming.

Déjà vu All Over Again — After Dad passed away we moved in with Mom to help out. Moving back home is difficult under any circumstances—doing it with your wife, baby, and diaper-clad dog is a sitcom in the making. We miss you Chico. Settling in I experienced Déjà vu. Mom and Dad moved into the same house with two young children 50-years earlier. This post shows a few changes in the years between both sets of Priegue parents moving into the same Cape Cod House in Queens.

Baby 2.0 – Your Survival Guide — My intervention post to any parent thinking it gets easier after your child’s first birthday. Published by The Good Men Project this survival guide lets you know what to expect. Don’t worry you can join a support group—they meet at most local bars.

A Look Back at 2015

December 31, 2015February 4, 2016I'm Not Grandpa

I’m reluctant to call this post a best of, or highlights, because not everything is a happy memory—but they are memorable. 2015 will be remembered as bittersweet. Esther and I experiencing the joys of parenthood was the highlight. Four family funerals and burying our dog made me wonder if we somehow pissed off the Grim Reaper.

Life is never as good as it seems when things are going well or as bad as it seems when they are going bad. This is what I remember from 2015:

Our First Full Year as Parents – Cristian was born in October 2014 so 2015 was our first full year as parents. We watched our little bundle of joy grow from a (not so) tiny newborn to rambunctious toddler. He was one of the few constants over the past year. You have no idea how many people you touched with your big smile and bigger personality. Esther and I are still amazed this adorable little boy is ours.

Dad with his first grandchild - Katie — Dad with his first grandchild – Katie

Dad’s Memorial – My father passed away this year. Five months later his loss still leaves me numb. Although he was 89 and spent much of the past few years in doctor’s offices and hospital rooms I thought, or maybe hoped, he had a few years left.

Dad loved a good story and his funeral gave me several. At his wake I met a charming older gentleman named Serafin who’s touching stories I’ll never forget. His funeral mass included a eulogy which left mourners alternating between laughter and tears and a driving rainstorm at the cemetery soaked those paying their final respects.

What I remember most is spending time with the family at Mom’s house afterwards. Dad loved entertaining—his summer cookouts were legendary. What better way to honor his memory than swapping stories with good food, good people, and good wine, the way he used to. I’m sure El Viejo was looking down with a smile on his face.

I’m Mr. Mom – If you told me five years ago I would be Mr. Mom, I would have laughed at you, but here we are. A freelance consulting gig allows me to work from home on a laptop while Cristian plays or watches Sesame Street and Peppa Pig. I’m usually the only dad at his My Gym classes and story time at the local library. I’m lucky—I get to experience Cristian’s firsts instead of hearing about them from others.

Esther and I Celebrated Our Fifth Wedding Anniversary – On Thanksgiving Day Esther and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Although she is sometimes the subject of a joke or two from this cranky blogger, she is what I was thankful for (not just on Thanksgiving). She introduced me to bike tours, long-distance running, and salsa (the music not the condiment). She is the Ying to my Yang and I’m lucky to have her in my life.

I’m now a Published Writer – I’ve been writing for ten years and blogging the last five. This year my work was published in a website I enjoy reading, The Good Men Project. So if I take anything away from 2015, I’m a writer, marathon runner and a badass dad.

Farewell Chico – Some will say “Why are you getting so emotional, it’s only a dog?” I understand not everyone is an animal lover and others consider dogs or cats just pets. Not us. Chico had a tremendous vibe and the ability to coax a smile from most people even non-dog people. Who doesn’t like a nice dog? Yes we spoiled him—he was our practice child before Cristian was born. My day is not the same without Chico’s morning walk.